5-24-15

I have jumped into the deep-end by having gastric by-pass surgery.  I need a new hip and the doctors won't give me one until I loose 80 pounds.

I had my surgery on May 14th and it went well.  The recovery has been somewhat rough.  I am blessed because I have not had any complications.  My family and friends have been very supportive.

Today, I came face to face with my addictions to food and to eating.  I felt buyer's remorse. If I wanted to have a plate of one of my favorite dishes, I do not have anywhere to put it.  My old stomach is no more and my new little one is still very tender and healing.  

I realized today that eating and my attachment to food has not only been a comfort, but my entertainment as well.  The problem was that the comfort was temporary and had to be repeated over and over again.  

What I really want is a new hip to be mobile again, I want to feel the bottom of my feet as normal, I want my Type 2 diabetes gone, I want my lymphademia  gone and a quality to life without all these issues.  I live alone and spend a lot of time by myself.  

I love the out of doors, gardening, hiking, swimming, walking my dog which I have not been able to do for a long time.  I hate feeling lethargic, bloated, out-of-sorts with my self.  Which is how I feel.

I also love to do photography, paint, crafts, sew and many other pursuits. My lack of energy does not allow for a constant flow of creativity. Creativity is the breath of my existence.

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I believe I am an eternal being having a human experience, however, my human experience is in charge of my experience.  I know all that can be changed and I am in the perfect place with all the perfect support (both heavenly and human) and resources to correct this error.